Jacob B. in the house ya'll !

hey. I haven't blogged for awhile because

of dear Jacob . I've been taking good care of him

and as I can see, all the love and care I'm giving him

is brought back to me. I am just really happy now.

I've been praying and asking God if I deserve to have 

him but I never figured out the answer. But look where 

he is now :) He have been helping me and feels like

he somehow changes me to become better. 

Since I had him, I haven't been attacked by my

eating disorder. It feels great not to

be played by your brain and not to feel

weak. Also, he helps me not to think of Mark, being away.

  

He is just perfect. :">

He follows me everywhere and when I go out

he'll be waiting for me by the door

till I get back.

I just love him sooo much !

ok. so it's 12:12 am

i can't sleep and i have no one to talk to.

i want to v-log but i cant cause everyone is now asleep.

i don't know what you want to talk about and i don't care

cause this is my blog and i will talk about what i want :)

i sound rude.

anyway, I'm having attitude problems right now.

maybe it's because of PMS or of ADHD.

yes. another disorder.

and it's making everything fall apart.

for those who don't know what ADHD means

it's Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

 if you want to know more about it talk to Mr. Wiki

aryt? 

I am still battling with my eating disorder

and now another battle to fight.

I may have ADHD way before my eating disorder

but maybe I wasn't aware of it.

 I am not anymore that secretive with my eating disorder

because this is who I've become and I am battling it.

I NEED OTHERS HELP too.

you know people, if i'd have a chance to know someone

who is also bulimic like me, i'd tell him/ her

"hey, you know what? you are beautiful."

i'd say it with all of my heart because, like me, 

i know how hard this battle is.

if we could only stop ourselves. 

help us make our selves feel good

and please don't bring us down.

 

 

An open letter to my boyfrined

I wrote this last night while I was waiting for Mr. Fernandez

because he is claiming his presidency somewhere. 

This letter is for him and I would like to share this to everyone

so you will all be a witness of how wonderful our relationship

is through good and bad. I made this public not because I want

others to envy us, I made this public for everyone to know how much we

value each other and be an inspiration to other couple whose

having those rainy days. Relationships are never perfect and that's 

what makes it perfect. Here it goes 

Mark,

      Heyhey! I know it's kinda late but HAPPY 20th MONTH BABY! geez. We've gone so far and I know we will keep on getting farther. There are a lot of things I want to tell you, and I will start it with Thank you. This past twenty months of being with you is the greatest twenty months of my entire life. I have learned a lot of things from you and I will continue to learn as we go on. Thank you for this twenty months of happiness. Even though we fight sometimes, I am still happy. You know I'd rather fight with you all day than be in love with someone else. You are the greatest part of me and I can no longer imagine life without you. Thank you for being so patient, I know it may get rough sometimes but you are just incredible, you always get through with it. Thank you for being there when I need you, It's nice to know, that there is somewhere I could go when I'm all beaten up by life. I fear nothing else (except God) because I know, whatever happens to me, you will always be there to pick me up. Thank you for the unconditional love, for accepting me despite of my flaws and unperfectness, for bringing out the best in me and seeing the good in me. Thank you for the trust that you have put in me. I have made mistakes that I wholeheartedly regret but the trust you give me is so strong that all those mistakes doesn't matter and because of that, it makes me love you even more. I wont put my sorries in here because I want this letter to be happy and not bring back those things that doesn't really matter. I love you baby, with all of my heart and you deserve all the best in me. You are the most perfect thing in my life and I will continue to value you the best way that I can. As long as we're together, we're unbreakable. I hope that our relationship will grow even more stronger everyday and with God's guidance and let us keep him as the center of it. I love you, always have, forever will.       

  Stretchy :D

there. I know old people will be like 'that's just puppy love' or 

'she doesn't even know what she's talking about'. I don't care

alright ? I don't mean to disrespect but I believe we also

deserve some respect. My teacher once told me that If you've got 

nothing good to say, you might as well keep it to yourself.

Thank you ! :)

 

Plants VS Zombies

alright. I'm suppose to write something to my boyfriend 'cuz it's our 20th monthsary but instead I'll blog about what happened to me and my mom last night. :)

Yesterday, I played Plants vs Zombies all day. I was aiming for more plants for my Zen garden. I played the mini games, i finished the puzzle and i played the survival hoping to get more plants. Now I have two Marigolds, a Tall-nut, a Chomper, a Potato Mine, a Squash, two Jalapenos, a Scaredy-shroom, two Hypno-shroom, a Grave Buster and a Doom-shroom. haha I am soo beating your zen garden Mr. Fernandez :)) so anyway, I'm in bed at around 11 pm but I fought with Mark till 1:30 am, so that makes me sleep at 1:30 am. I dreamed about Plants vs Zombies and I was aware that I woke maybe somewhere around 3:00 am. I immediately get up for my bed, went to my mom's bedroom and woke her up to tell her "MAMA! magtanim ka pa nung tumitira!" (I am refering to a pea shooter or maybe a puff-shroom because it was a night battle of PVZ in my dream) and my mom said "Ano ba yang sinasabi mo?! Nananaginip ka nanaman no?!"  I said "Hindi, basta.Yung tumitira." She replied "Anong tumitira?!". That's when I got myself together and realized that I was talking non sense. I can't be sleep walking or something like that cause that would be really creepy. I know what I'm doing and what I'm taking about but I guess my dream just came out :)) In the morning, at breakfast my mom blurt out what had happen to everyone. I LOL at what I did and it was kinda embarrassing :"> HAHAHAAA :DDD rotfl

Hi Mr. Fernandez. I was suppose to write an

open letter for you here but I just had to share what had happen.

I know you'll understand because you love me very much,

and since that I love you too, very very much.

I will try to put myself together tomorrow

so I will be able write something to you. AND baby, this is your

new haven. Get used to this aryt ?

sorry for deleting may old blog where I used

to write sweet nothings to you. I hope this new blog place

will make you feel loved and special just like 

the old blog did. It's just the blog that changed

I'll still be the same :) I love you, always and forever <3

HAPPY 20th MONTHSARY !

- prncss